Sex education is about safety, boundaries, and respect
Recently, I invited my good friend, occupational therapist and sex therapist Dr. James Lee, to record a podcast episode on sex education. While researching and preparing the content, I realised many parents have strong taboos around the topic.
“Когда should we start talking about it?”
“Will it be too early?”
“What if my child suddenly asks something—how should I answer?”
In many Asian families, “sex” is often a difficult subject to talk about. Many people in the older generation did not receive this kind of education, and concepts such as boundaries, consent, or bodily autonomy were rarely discussed. As a result, many parents tend to hope they can delay it—wait until the child is older, wait for schools to teach it, or wait until the child “figures it out”.
But sex education is not only about sexual behaviour. It is about how children understand their own bodies, how they protect themselves, how they respect others’ boundaries, and whether they know they can say “no” when they feel uncomfortable. These things actually start much earlier than most people think.
Sex education should begin when children are very young
Many parents think sex education only begins in adolescence. But from a developmental psychology perspective, children start forming ideas about bodily boundaries, safety, autonomy, and physical contact in early childhood.
For example:
- When a child says “I don’t want a hug,” do adults respect it?
- When bathing a child, do we teach which parts are private parts?
- When relatives ask for hugs or kisses, does the child have the right to say “no”?
These are already part of sex education.
Why does sex education feel “awkward”?
Many parents do not lack concern—they lack confidence in how to start, because they were never taught themselves. In their upbringing, bodies were often not openly discussed, and obedience was emphasised.
So when we talk about “boundaries,” “consent,” and “bodily autonomy,” parents are also learning.
The question is: would you rather your child learn about sex from you, or from TikTok, peers, or exaggerated online content?
Helping children understand their feelings is key protection
Safety education is important—“don’t go with strangers,” “scream if someone touches you.” But research shows children are best protected when they are taught to trust their feelings from an early age.
If a child is always taught to tolerate discomfort, always obey physical affection, and never refuse, they may struggle later to recognise boundary violations.
Sex education is not only about danger—it is about teaching:
“Your feelings matter. If you feel uncomfortable, you can say so.”
Step-by-step: how to start naturally
Step 1: Use correct names for body parts
Teach children proper terms like penis, vagina, chest, bottom. This builds body awareness and protection ability. Treat private parts like other body parts—there is nothing shameful about them.
Step 2: Respect a child’s “no”
If a child refuses hugs or kisses, respond with alternatives like a wave or high-five. This teaches that boundaries are allowed and relationships are still safe.
Step 3: Build consent into daily life
Ask permission in everyday situations:
- “Can I wipe your face?”
- “Do you want mummy to help or do it yourself?”
Also encourage children to ask consent from others.
Step 4: Make sure children can always come back to you
Children need to know they can talk to you without fear of blame or punishment. Safety at home matters more than silence or secrecy.
Final thoughts
Many Asian families avoid sex education because they believe silence equals protection. But silence does not prevent exposure—it only prevents guidance.
Sex education is not just about sex. It is about safety, boundaries, respect, autonomy, and emotional security.
When children know their feelings are valid, their bodies are respected, and they can say “no”, they grow up with a stronger sense of safety and trust.
About the Author
Chloe Wong
Chloe Wong is an immigrant mother and speech pathologist based in Melbourne. She is the founder of Blackburn Speech & Paediatric Therapy, a bilingual multidisciplinary clinic supporting children and families from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds.
Having worked closely with immigrant families for many years, Chloe believes that while grandparents and parents may differ in approach, their intention is the same — to give the next generation a better life.
Through this column, she brings together research-informed insights and practical strategies to build bridges between generations, helping love translate into meaningful, effective support for children.
Follow her on Instagram: @phd.speechie.mum