On July 4, I attended the Victorian New Life Association’s 30th Anniversary Charity Concert at the Whitehorse Centre, where, together with more than 400 supporters, we reflected on the unwavering care, compassion, and dedication that Mrs. Yiu Shum Yuen (Mrs. Yiu), who has served as the Association’s Chairperson since its founding, has shown to cancer patients and their families over the past thirty years. Through her efforts, those who must walk the uncertain journey of life alone no longer feel isolated and helpless. In this article, I will not be discussing people with autism for the time being. Instead, I wish to reflect on the loneliness faced by those whose lives are approaching their end.
The Lonely Journey of Life
There is no doubt that every person must ultimately walk the journey of life alone until the very last day. The recent passing of my mother has made me feel this even more deeply. From the moment we are born, however, we begin learning that the journey of life is not one we walk in loneliness. A baby who knows nothing feels hunger, cold, anxiety, and may cry even at the slightest sound. As long as the baby cries aloud, the parents will respond. Through their love and care, the baby develops a sense of security and the feeling that they are not living alone.
As we grow a little older, even before we can speak, we learn to communicate with others. Through movements and facial expressions, babies connect with their families, and through this process, we witness their continual growth. From knowing nothing at all, they gradually learn to understand the voices of others, the outside world, how to get along with people, and the pursuits of life. The path of a person’s life begins with self-interest, gradually develops into an understanding of the world, and may even reach a deeper knowledge of and relationship with the Creator who made the world.
As people grow, they gradually leave the environment of their family and enter schools, friendships, close relationships, workplaces, and the process of creating the world together with others. As a result, the number of people we know continues to increase. Yet because of differences in personality, life goals, attitudes, and personal preferences, we cannot necessarily maintain long-term and close relationships with everyone. As people grow older, they eventually realise that there are joys and sorrows, meetings and partings in life, and that the time we can spend together is never long. Even more sobering is the gradual realisation that everyone must one day face death and depart. The loneliness within each person’s heart becomes increasingly difficult to dispel as we ourselves grow old.
However, when one day a person is diagnosed with cancer, almost everyone experiences an overwhelming sense of loneliness. This is because most cancers today cannot be cured, their progression is unpredictable, and yet they can ultimately be fatal. The challenge cancer brings is that people have no certainty whether their lives will continue, and this directly exposes their helplessness. No one can say, “I have cancer. It doesn’t matter. It will get better by itself.” Those diagnosed with cancer are like people who have received a notice from the Creator that their lives may soon be coming to an end. From that moment onward, they walk the road of life alone.
A Journey of Life That Will Inevitably End
When young people are diagnosed with cancer or another incurable illness, many naturally feel unwilling to accept it. If someone in their teens or twenties loses their life while still studying, it always feels especially tragic. I cannot help but think of a university classmate who ended his own life by jumping from the rooftop of the campus because he could not achieve the academic results he had hoped for. His suicide reminded me most profoundly that young people, when they are temporarily unable to see a way forward, may make irrational decisions that leave those around them heartbroken. Because of this, I learned that I should never ignore the needs of those around me. Whenever I am able to offer them some help, I should do my best.
When I was in the prime of my life, I was diagnosed with a liver disease that was incurable at the time. When the university doctor who was also my colleague told me there was no cure, I discovered that what I faced was not a blow, but rather a reminder from God that life was never in my own hands, and that I was never truly able to plan my future. At that moment, I asked myself where I should invest whatever time remained in order to accomplish the things I had planned in life. What surprised me even more was the realisation that after more than ten years of hard work, everything I had accumulated would probably remain unused when the time came for me to leave. Since I had long resolved to serve God throughout my life and be His steward, how then should I face God?
I immediately decided to change the direction of my life. I left Hong Kong and returned to Melbourne, dedicating whatever time and resources I had left to expanding God’s Kingdom. What I thought about then was not how I should plan to use my wealth, but rather asking God how much longer He would allow me to continue serving as His steward. My serious illness reminded me to make the most of the present. Even my beloved wife and family could not determine whether they would continue walking beside me. Many friends cared deeply about me, but I still had to walk my own path alone. Yet every day I knew and experienced that God was walking with me.
The Loneliness of Growing Old Cannot Be Changed
When my parents reached their seventies, they began living with me permanently, allowing me to experience with them the later years of life’s journey. When I was younger, I knew my parents would one day grow old, but I had never personally experienced what ageing and death were really like. Fortunately, I have had the privilege of serving in a worship service for the elderly for the past eighteen years, witnessing the journeys of many elderly people from old age to death.
My parents gradually became less active. My father had few friends and spent most of his time with my mother. Their life was simple, yet he was content. He would spend his days tending flowers and working in the garden, and before he knew it, another day had passed. My mother enjoyed socialising and always hoped that different friends would visit her, and that she could go out and about. However, all of their peers remained in Hong Kong, and their lonely life in Melbourne could not be changed. As they grew older, their energy declined, and they spent more and more time living in loneliness.
After my father went home to the Lord eight years ago, my mother became truly alone in the nursing home. Although my sister, my younger sister, and I, together with our families, visited her frequently in Melbourne, my mother did not understand English and therefore could not communicate with either the other residents or the staff. Visits from her children became the only thing she looked forward to. After my father’s passing, my mother repeatedly said that she was ready to leave because the endless loneliness made her long even more for her heavenly home. She had married into my father’s family at the age of fifteen, joined the church, and became a Christian. She firmly believed that she now had more relatives and friends in heaven than on earth. To her, leaving this world to be reunited with her loved ones in heaven was better than remaining on earth to live in loneliness.
How Can We Face Death?
Cancer patients and my parents, who lived long lives before passing away, are not the same. Most cancer patients have not yet grown old, yet they must already face death every day and walk the road alone. Thirty years ago, when Mrs. Yiu Shum Yuen saw the loneliness experienced by members of the Chinese community facing this situation, she established the New Life Association to walk alongside them through the remaining days of their lives under the shadow of cancer, helping them to be alone without feeling lonely.
Yes, the final road of death must ultimately be walked alone, but people can choose not to carry the feeling of loneliness as they walk that path.
The performers at the New Life Association’s 30th Anniversary Concert were all members of the Association and their families and friends. They were people who had experienced the threat of cancer, not professional performers. Yet through music, performances, drama, and dance, they worked hard to share the support they had received from the Association and the hope for life they had rediscovered, expressing both their love for life and their gratitude to the New Life Association to every member of the audience. That evening, I attended with my good friend Chan Ho Sum. We both affirmed the hope and support that the New Life Association brings to cancer patients, and we also wished that Mrs. Yiu would find even more companions in the years ahead who share the Association’s vision, so that they may continue supporting this platform that has already been established, bringing blessings to this group of life warriors who continue to face life with a positive attitude and a smile.
Chan Ho Sum and I also discussed what we ourselves would choose if one day we were to face the same challenge as the friends in the New Life Association. I believe this is a question worth every person considering. Without discussing it beforehand, both Chan Ho Sum and I came to the same conclusion: if one day we truly faced the threat of death, we would cherish every remaining day even more, so that we could continue to shine and make a difference, blessing those who walk alongside us. As a Christian, I believe this is the most fundamental attitude toward life in practising the Christian faith. I wonder whether you would agree.
Mr. Raymond Chow